For starters as the title indicates I'm a broke housewife. Broke beyond belief. Broke to the point that weekly therapy is going to have to be moved to bi-weekly therapy and so on.
Secondly, unlike Bravo would have you believe I am the real deal housewife. I live for reality tv. Sadly the vapid selfishness and made up bullshit for 15 minutes of fame encourages me that in spite of it all; I am not, have not, nor ever will be as douchy as these brain trusts. Okay I take that back I have horrible grammar and writing skills so I should probably lighten up on the harsh judgments. Even I couldn't come up with "gone with the wind fabulous!" Such empowerment. Thank you Jesus for Andy Cohen and all his infinite wisdom in coming up with such a fabulous (and oh so life like) reality series!
Thirdly, is that even a word? I have very little adult contact since I'm at home with the kids right now. I spend my day holding back 4-letter words wondering how in the hell people do this on a regular basis without pharmaceuticals or alcohol. Go ahead and judge, but the fruit of my loins straight up make me crazy in the head some days. Seriously all the SAHM with such grace and patience make me red with envy. You go ladies! No snark at all. You deserve a medal or at least a huge vacay for all the hard work you do.
In a nutshell I'm one cracked and damaged nut with just a little bit of a sick sense of humor to keep me kicking to see what could possibly happen next. It is quite possible that I might have more drama than yo mama, or Mckmama...sorry couldn't resist.
Who knows if I will stick with this or not. For now I'll try it out. If anything maybe it will at least curb my ice cream intake that always happens once hurricane littles go to bed. Lord knows I'm too broke to buy any new digs for myself so time to put the damn spoon down. Plus my ass has been screaming for months to just stop already. Us real folk don't have $$$ for lapband don't you know! Emotional eating is bad, bad, BAD, but oh so damn good going down.
Broke Mama
